Junkeroftheheart

Travelling.

I’ve been in this strange reflective state the last few days. Bored, yet kind of content with wasting my day staring at everything around me, since soon it will no longer belong to me like it does now. Two days ago, I watched 500 days of summer, afterwards, I put on a bandanna I used to wear as a child and lit a sparkler in my bedroom, It was 10.30 at night. I felt strangely satisfied afterward. That same night, I lay on the stagnant pile of clothing that lay ridiculously on my Bedroom floor - begging to be thrown out, caught between being outdated and crappy, and my inability not to hoard clothing. I had been avoiding it, as if it were an underground mine or something. I lay on this pile, in candle light. Losing my mind, yet feeling insanely content. The pile cast a shadow onto my wall, It looked just like a silhouette of an old mans face. That night I read the Hunger Games, and relished in it’s slightly adolescent feel. It made me feel like a 12 year old child. Comfortable and immersed in the present. I lay by my candle light and read for hours. Today, a tear actually fell from my face for something I resented for a long time. I looked through all my photographs from the previous year, my last year of School. And I missed it, I missed everybody. I missed being frustrated at people I couldn’t understand. I missed being thrown between a thousand other people, and struggling to feel myself among the hundreds of confused, young, crazy teenagers. I missed people which I now realize I’ll hold a bond with, spiritually, for the rest of my life - because they were there when I grew up. The most significant and enlightening growth we experience as Human beings. In my opinion. Maybe that will change. But for now it feels significant.